Ilkley CC

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Player Profiles


Chris Quaife (Captain)

An exciting and attacking batsman who has plundered runs throughout his career, Guppy's never-say-die attitude and enthusiasm rubs off on his players and has the respect of all of his men.
Recently concentrated much of his efforts on bowling like his all-time hero - Robert Croft... except Guppy's better!
However, his fielding is almost as painful to witness as his cheesy gags!
After moving from darn sarf as a kid to Gods Own Country Guppy typically chose to support Man Utd... strange that! And who said he bears a striking resemblance to Desperate Dan?!


Jo Varley (wk / Vice-Captain)

A nickname of 'Lager' would probably make you think that Jo likes a drink or two... and you'd be right! Where this man puts his drink is anyone’s guess but his slight build has known to guzzle its way through over 50 pints on a weekend.
An excellent wicketkeeper who always rallies the troops. Despite first impressions Jo is actually an intelligent bloke and amongst his literature portfolio are articles for such esteemed academic journals such as The Beano and Shoot.


Michael Sant

An artist by profession one would expect Santy to be in the Michael Vaughan mould, playing delicate shots along the floor, beautiful cut shots through point and exquisite drives through the cover region but no Santy is a brute of a cricketer and eats up the most intimidating of bowlers for breakfast. The sheer size of this hairy beast enable him to mis hit sixes and he bullies and destroys whatever anyone dare throw down at him. Off the wicket you couldn't meet a nicer chap.


Nick Cockcroft

New signing Cocky is a genuine allrounder. A stubborn right handed batmen, a crafty left-arm spinner and quick as lightening cover point fielder. Batting at number 3 he will hold any innings together and invariably provides the platform for his teamates to go on and score the runs. His trademark shot would have to be his down on one knee cover drive - simply delightful.


Paul Dover

Despite being an Ilkley resident for more than ten years 'nice but dim' Paul didn't realise there was a cricket club right on his doorstep and every weekend for the last ten summers has travelled all the way to Thackley!!!
After his three year old son pointed out his dads mistake he joined The ICC this year and has immediately proved a popular member of the dressing room... despite being a Liverpool fan!


Richard Harrison

A man of few words, 'Dicky' as he affectionately likes to be known is your typical, blunt Yorkshireman... especially when it comes to getting a drink in for the lads. Recently, an unidentified member of the camp had a look in Richards wallet and found 3 shillings, a rations book and a Penny Farthing stamp.
An exceptional bowler who took a magnificent 10 for at the end of Season 2005 he is sure to spearhead the ICC bowling artillary, especially as he was given a pair of new knees at Christmas.


Simon Schwerdt

Ladies man Simon has already proved a hit with the fairer sex and if some reports are to be believed Aussie Simon has scored more notches than he has runs - and this genuine batsmen is a prolific run machine!
Immediately proving a popular lad amongst ALL his teamates and living with two other Aussies above a pub Simon has settled remarkably well in Yorkshire. Simon has set himself a target of a thousand runs... and a thousand women.


Andy Wheeler

The other new boy in the squad, Wheels is an attacking left-handed batsmen and economic seam bowler. Fielder - hmm maybe not! Wheel’s is another one who has soon settled in to the spirit of ICC and his enthusiasm and determination to get the team up the divisions should prove a real asset in the future. Stories of a lack of stamina at drinking have yet to be corroborated first hand but with an anonymous tip-off it seems only a matter of time.


Alex Bailey

Bail’s is the baby of the group and as such the team like to put a protective arm around its young prodigy and Bails is more than happy to guzzle from Guppy's mighty bosoms.
Alex is an exciting young talent and an attacking opener. His ondrives have been known to leave his teamates drooling - 'sublime' was the word invented for that particular shot.
Bails often tours the world with his thrash-metal band and his sex, drugs and rock & roll tour image contrasts sharply with his quiet, witty persona around The ICC.
Bails is sure to be a success this season, he's hard-working and a battler to the end.


Darren Jayes

Dazzler or Jay Ze as he is known in the hood, is a gangsta and came to Ilkley via the Caribbean... man.
A thinking mans cricketer and clever left arm spinner he uses flight and changes of pace to outwit even the most clever of batsmen. A quiet man around the dressing room, this disguises a steely edge and an intensity to win.
Genuine number 11.


Andrew Rhodes

A fiery, aggressive, fast bowler this youngster is sure to terrorise opposition batsmen for years to come. Despite being only just old enough to consume alcohol he is the only man who can rival Lager in the drinking stakes. Unfortunately, he also the only man who match Lager's garish wardrobe, much to the amusement of Yorkshire's women!

1 Comments:

  • At 7:47 pm, Blogger Dos Hos said…

    Where's my player profile???

    Specialist 3rd man & No 11 batsman. Almost exclsively plays when there's no one else available. Good arm though & very vocal

     

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